Leadership Empathy: Do you accept and not understand OR do you actually understand and not accept?

I was sitting in LAX during a four hour layover. My autistic brain immediately sought a cozy space where I could minimize the amount of stimulus around me. I found a lovely dimly lit corner at PF Chang's with a small table and two padded chairs in a warm dark chocolate color. The best part was the noise cover provided by the screen and there were no other people! As I removed my ear plugs and began to intentionally set out my things, a couple sat down next to me. 

The man happily began a loud conversation on speaker phone with his family in Texas. I remained hoping that the phone conversation would be short and I could enjoy my sensory safe haven. Within five minutes the man had grossly oversimplified stereotypes into racist comments by comparing cheap Mexican mystery meat in “tack-o’s” to cat and dog meat consumed by Chinese people. Fifteen minutes into the conversation he volunteered himself to preach the “gospel of Jesus our lord and savior” to the bedside of a family member with cancer. At the twenty minute mark, I got up to find another spot free of audio stimulation and space taking.

The Texan said a handful of things that I could have taken offense to, but I chose to engage my empathy skills instead of engaging with him. I was provided with a unique opportunity to observe and learn from a stranger who was broadcasting his identity on high volume. This allowed me to better understand this stranger’s values and beliefs while exercising my tolerance to take in information that I did not agree with. This skill translates into professional organizations when we engage with co-workers or leaders whom we do not agree with, but need to work with despite our personal disagreements.

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